Acting Up or Down

There are thousands of out of work actors but millions more who are in work. Let me explain.

Whether you regard yourself as an actor or not, all of us have the capacity to modify our behaviour to fit the needs of different situations. We do this instinctively, often seamlessly as we move from one person to another. That’s acting, isn’t it?

One area that I work on with my clients is the notion of #Status. Status in this context has nothing to do with the level of seniority you hold in your company. It has everything to do with how you feel about yourself in relation to others.

In any relationship or conversation, the status is constantly shifting. Person A says something that is taken as demeaning by Person B and their status is momentarily diminished. They have a choice: do I settle into that diminished status or do I assert myself to raise my status to the same level or above of the person I am relating to.

Another example: Person A does something that suggests huge respect for Person B. Person B now has a choice: do I bask in the glory of that deferred status or do I play down my status to make Person A feel less intimidated and in awe of me?

Status is important, because of its impact on how we present ourselves, how seriously we are taken, and what impact or influence we can have on events. Going into a meeting where we need to win over allies will require a delicate status balance: not so high that we appear to be bombastic and arrogant and not too low that we lose all credibility.

Relationships work best where the status differential is small. In this way, you neither appear dominant nor subservient. But judging the right level can be tricky and invariably requires regular adjustment.

Consider on a scale of one to ten (where 10 is high) where your own status is on a typical day. Does it move up and down? Does it shift when with specific people (higher or lower)? Does it change according to certain situations you encounter? The chances are that you answer yes to these three questions.

Now consider where you think your status levels needs to be in order to achieve your objectives. Do you need to come down a notch or two, or shift up a bit?

Photo by Kyle Head on Unsplash

The best way to change your status is to observe how people who have different status levels behave. A key to this is how people relate to and use the space.

High status people:

1.    Fill the space

2.    Command the space

3.    Rearrange the space

Lower status people:

1.    Appear unwelcome in the space

2.    Take up a small space

3.    Accommodate the space

People attempting to present high status can often be observed like this:

·       Holding eye contact

·       Breaking eye contact and ignoring someone

·       Wearing dark glasses: we can’t see the submission of the eyes

·       Use long ‘ers’: don’t interrupt me

·       Straight, upright posture

·       Stillness, especially in the head

·       Move smoothly

·       Sit back into the seat and fill the space

·       Speak in complete sentences

·       Full open smile

·       Slower movements

·       Deliberate movements

·       Turn back to the group as they leave

·       Might choose to sit in corners where they can see and influence in two directions

Whereas people with lower status might more often look like this:

·       Breaking eye contact, then looking back for a fraction of a second

·       Use short ‘ers’: (invitation to interrupt me)

·       Fidgeting

·       Move jerkily

·       Toes pointing inwards

·       Shrink into the seat, trying not to take up too much space

·       Smile with teeth covering bottom lip

·       Walking with hands in pockets

·       Touching head and face

·       Walk backwards out of a room

·       Kneeling

·       Bowing

·       Prostrating

·       Wall hugging

·       Door hanging (ready for a quick escape)

Whatever status you want to convey, you can do it by making the right adjustments to your posture, body language and behaviours. And what you will find is that by changing these things you also begin to sound different (more confident, if that is what you want).

We all have the acting capacity within us. It doesn’t change who we are, but it does change how we come across and what we can achieve.

#Status #Influence #Impact #Behaviour #Acting