Being driven somewhere isn't the same as being compelled to travel in a particular direction. One is passive and the other is active.
We are all inspired by something. We take inspiration from the world and the people around us. From acts of decency and kindness; from remarkable achievements we see in others; from the examples set for us by parents, teachers, and in some cases, Leaders. But being inspired is only half of the picture. It’s what we do with that inspiration that matters. It’s the choices we make and the actions we take that count.
I’ve worked for many years with the simple theory of Motivating Drivers. It emerges from the field of Transactional Analysis and serves to highlight some of the motivating forces that are at play for most people. Taibi Kahler proposed that to a greater or lesser extent, everyone is subject to five universal drivers: Be Strong, Be Perfect, Try Hard, Hurry Up, and Please People. Think of drivers as loud voices in your head telling you what’s right and wrong, and what you ‘should’ be doing. Sometimes there can be five loud voices shouting at you at the same time, placing huge demands on you to behave in a particular way. Where do these voices come from?
Children are adept at adaptation. They learn how to thrive in their environment by identifying what is needed from them in order to receive the comfort, rewards, and protection they need. They might already have a genetic predisposition to behave in a particular way but encountering the demands and expectations of the world around them firms up some of their beliefs about what is acceptable and unacceptable. They are treated well when the follow the acceptable route. They are treated less well when they choose the other path. So, over time, the way they are being programmed to behave as children gets firmed up in their mind as conditions they must meet throughout life. By adulthood, they are largely unaware of these conditions they now place upon themselves; they simply accept them as the blueprint of appropriate behaviour.
Basically, if we are not careful, we are not in the driving seat, but being driven to distraction or destruction by our internal drivers.
The trouble with Drivers is that they are definitions of behaviours that may not be appropriate in every situation. Sometimes trying to Be Strong is detrimental to our mental health; or attempting to Be Perfect means that we are exhausting ourselves by seeking a solution that is beyond what is required. Far from inspiring us, our Drivers can confine us.
But being inspired is something else. It demands a level of consciousness that is often missing with Drivers. It is based on observation and being aware of the impact someone is having on us. If relies on us identifying what truly ignites our passions and where our strengths lie. In short, following our Drivers can drain us, but following our passions can energise us.
So, the next time you find yourself rushing from pillar to post, stop and ask yourself, is this my Hurry Up Driver at play? Or when you find yourself bending over backwards to keep everyone happy, stop and ask yourself, is this my Please People Driver forcing me to behave this way? Awareness is key, even if you subsequently decide that on this occasion, pleasing people is more important than ruffling feathers, or more important than pushing people to deliver quickly.
We can deploy our drivers effectively if we are in control of them. Sometimes we need to apply the brake. And once inspired, we can choose which Driver or combination of Drivers is best placed to help us succeed.