The Value of Courtesy in the Workplace

It's easy to dismiss courtesy as a ‘soft skill’, (as if being nice makes you soft!). But without it, your day gets a whole lot more complicated. The way people treat each other at work shapes almost everything that follows; trust, collaboration, retention, even performance. As such; courtesy is an essential component of business success.

It’s not a new idea, but courteous interactions with colleagues and stakeholders often get lost in the melee of toxic work cultures. #DrPaddiLund, a self-confessed "Crazy Dentist" from Queensland, Australia, responded to this trend, by creating a Courtesy System which transformed his practice and fortunes. His example is a powerful reminder that doing business doesn’t have to be cruel, aggressive, or combative. In fact, businesses built on kindness, open communication and the goal of happiness at their heart, will thrive.

Courtesy sets the tone for how people feel about coming to work. A simple "thank you," holding a door, acknowledging someone's effort, these small gestures signal respect and value. And when people feel respected, they are more willing to contribute ideas, raise concerns, and go beyond the bare minimum. When courtesy is absent, people tend to disengage, even if no one says anything out loud. A quick look at the low levels of employee engagement across the world are a sobering reminder of what happens when courtesy (among other things) is missing.

Courtesy builds trust faster than almost anything else, and trust is the foundation of good teamwork. Someone who listens without interrupting, gives credit where it's due, and responds to emails without curtness is signalling “I see you as a person, not an obstacle”. That signal compounds over time into genuine trust between colleagues.

Courtesy reduces friction and destructive conflict. Workplaces are full of disputes over priorities, resources, where credit lies, and deadlines, so whilst courtesy doesn't eliminate conflict (and why would you want to?), it changes how conflict plays out. A disagreement handled with basic respect is far easier to resolve than one laced with sarcasm or dismissiveness. Teams with a baseline of courtesy tend to recover from tension faster, because no one's defending their dignity on top of defending their position.

Courtesy shapes culture more than policy does. Most organisations have a code of conduct, but culture is really built through thousands of micro daily interactions; how a manager responds to a mistake, whether someone is interrupted in meetings, whether new starters are made to feel welcome.

Courtesy, repeated consistently, becomes culture.

According to research on workplace incivility, rudeness, even occasional, has an outsized and lingering effect on the receiver and any bystander. It measurably reduces people's performance and willingness to help others. This all makes total sense. We respond badly and emotionally to people who treat us with unkindness.

Here's some really good news about courtesy, especially for the financial analysts. It costs nothing but pays huge dividends. It’s like putting your savings in a high yielding bond, rather than a low interest current account. Unlike many workplace initiatives, courtesy requires no budget, no training programme, no new software. It simply requires intention; choosing to greet people, to say please and thank you, to listen properly, to disagree without being disagreeable.

None of this means courtesy should be confused with avoiding honest feedback or difficult conversations. The two aren't in tension. In fact, courtesy makes hard conversations land better, because the person receiving feedback already trusts that they're respected. Manners aren't a substitute for substance; they're what makes the substance land.

In a working world that talks a great deal about engagement, retention, and culture, courtesy is one of the simplest and most overlooked levers available. It's free, it's contagious, creating its own momentum. That has to be worth something.